The Following Conversation Actually Took Place...

Jess:  "...and he's bringing me deer sticks.  He's going hunting tomorrow for the season opener.  Oh, I probably shouldn't tell you that since you're a vegan."

Me: "Oh, please. I'm on a strict diet. It's not like I'm doing it for the merit badge."

(I feel compelled to point out some embrace the logic that deer are also vegan, so anything related to deer must be OK.)